For the past three years during Thanksgiving week, I have taken my entire week off from work and dedicated those days to none other than MYSELF. I coined the week 'Shardanna’s Seven Days of Self-Care'. During each of the seven days, I would commit to doing anything that aligned with self-care—whether it was quiet time, a mani/pedi, a massage, exercise, a bath by candle light, a facial, etc. In other words, I pampered myself—a lot. If each event or moment was centered around me and served as something to cater to my needs and get me feeling good, why, now that I look back on it, is dedicating seven days to take time out for myself and improve my mental health and decrease my stress actually a fail?
What about the other days, sis?
I am a mother 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. I am a dedicated wife, a chef, a professional grocery shopper, an overwhelmed student, and a busy teacher. At times, I am a physically exhausted runner, in many ways, I am a savant, and I am a constant thinker/over thinker. With that being said, if all of these take place daily, if this is my daily life almost every day of the year, then how is taking only seven days out of the year and dedicating them to de-stressing and recharging a good thing? What about the other days? With all that I have going on, I am going to need a lil’ bit mo’ a little more often.
Take care of yourself--often
I know, I know. Life is so busy, the world is chaotic, who has time to make time? In my case, I would make time for everything and everyone else while announcing, “I can’t wait until Thanksgiving break.” However, not practicing ongoing self-care or failing to take time out for YOUR mind, body, and soul often leads to burnout and stress. I know what some of you are thinking: I can’t do that, so-and so needs me, or you’re going over in your head how guilty taking this time out makes you feel. In my experience, NOT taking the time out made me feel worse. I had constant headaches; I was mentally tired, drained, and sis, I was STRESSED.
That is not self-care, sis; that is grooming
One thing about self-care is it should make you feel good on the inside. It should calm your spirit, calm your mind, or bring you peace. Well, as the years went on, I realized that I would do a lot of things that catered to the exterior rather than the internal. I would take one day to get a mani/pedi, one day to get a wax, another day to get my hair done, I’d go shopping for a new lipstick, and so on. Meanwhile, the dust would settle, and my mind was still racing, my spirit was not calm, or I still felt like I needed to do more. Although I looked fabulous, I wanted to FEEL light. I wanted my mind to be free. I wanted my mental, emotional, and physical health to be tended to and taken care of. Self-care is not getting a Brazilian wax or getting your lashes done; it is something that refuels, refreshes, and restores you, not boost your confidence or make you feel glamorous.
Exactly what is self-care?
Self-care could be as simple as getting enough sleep, meditating, going for a run, walk or hike or beginning a nutritious diet. It is dancing or moving to loosen up or boost your serotonin. It is CHOOSING to unplug from your phone, email, or social media for a day, or taking 30 minutes to simply unwind. It could be planning an evening with your friends or spending enough time with your loved ones because they always make you laugh, and lots of laughter makes going to work the next day a little more easy. It is realizing that always being inside is affecting your mood and your health, so you decide to step outside to get some sunlight. It could also mean knowing your limits and not pushing yourself beyond them. Self-care is for your WELLNESS, and my mental, physical, and emotional wellness all deserve to be tended to more than seven days out of a year.
Written with love,
S. S.
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